Freddy Vs. Jason review by The Grim Ringler

If it were allowed, and heck, I am sure there are some theaters that, if you go real, real late, it is allowed, there would be a lot of geeky horror fanboys masturbating to this little movie. Myself included. Sure, sure, I laughed when I heard the premise, and I shuddered when I read parts of a fake script, but this is it buckos, this is the big fat French kiss horror nerds have been waiting for. No, it is not a serious horror film at all. This is not even in the same ballpark as a 28 Days Later, but thats not quite fair to compare the two. This is not meant to be a serious, scary horror film. At all. It is meant to be a sort of What If movie, kinda like what if Batman and Superman fought? Thats what it is. To judge it any other way is unfair. Which people will do. But, heck, why dont I get on to the review and finish this stuff later?

The premise here is that both Jason and Freddy are residing in the bowels of Hell, a Hell, I might add that seems to be more in the mind than a physical place. It seems though that Freddy the K is none to happy with his current residence and has only grown to hate the children of the world more than he ever has and needs more than ever to be free to stalk the world in its dreams. It seems though that the world is no longer afraid of Freddy anymore (maybe they have seen some of his movies, yeeesh!) so he needs a proxy to scare the children of Elm Street for him. He needs a pawn. And guess who would make the best pawn? A mamas boy named Jason who Freddy tracks down in his own dreams, becoming Jasons mother and bidding him to hunt down the children of Elm Street to make them pay for what they have done. Good little boy that he is, Jason resuscitates himself and stalks off towards Elm Street and the former house of Nancy, Freddys ex-arch-nemesis to do some kid killing. And holy cow does he ever. More brutal than he has ever been in the other Friday the 13th films, Jason brutally murders a kid after having sex and thus the seeds of Freddy are re-planted as the police associate the killing with the former child killer. And with each new murder Jason commits Freddy grows more and more in peoples thoughts and more powerful again so he can get at the children again. The wrench in it all comes when Jason just wont stop killing and Freddy has to intervene in order to halt Jason from bogarting the body count. Meanwhile a handful of survivors of Jasons most recent attacks piece together what is going on and realize they must pull Freddy into the real world so Jason can dispatch him and they can all be safe to dream again. Everything comes together at the former Camp Crystal Lake and Freddy and Jason can finally duke it out to see who is the better madman.

Wow. This is great stuff. Easily the goriest movie I have seen in a theater in ages. I mean, I am actually stunned that this made it to the screen this gory. My guess is that the MPAA found some loopholes somewhere or other. I mean, to be honest, most of the violence is so over the top as to be almost cartoony, especially when Jason and Freddy go at one another. And while I was angry that they replaced Kane Hodder as the man behind Jasons mask (the guy played him through four films and was really into playing him, and dammit, hes a nice guy), they did a nice job with him. I wasnt that enthused with the idea that Freddy was back to his wisecracking ways but I liked that it actually portrayed him as a child-killer. And that Jason was finally as brutal as he should be. We also get some neat back-story on Jason and actually see him as a child. But, well, all is not rosy on Elm Street. The story is a bit weird, and does get a bit far-fetched, though really, what did you expect? And I did get sick of some of Freddys one-liners. I always preferred the scarier, grinning, silent Freddy, call me mad. And while they are not nearly as bad as a lot of people have said, the teen cast does get annoying. As does some of the nods to the mythology of the series i.e. the overabundance of busty women running around (they even used a big-boobed body double for an actress in a shower scene, good heavens), and the over-abundance of partying and drug usage. And there is one scene in Jasons dreams where Freddy kicks old Js ass and it gets pretty silly, well, it gets too silly, and almost ruins the fun vibe the film has going.

This really is great stuff though. And the highlight of the film, the two major fights between Freddy and Jason really are something to see. Terribly over the top and as cartoonily gory as you could imagine, this is the stuff of legend. Both characters just kick the crap out of one another and its a blast to see. As are the other killings in the film which, as I said earlier, are just as gory as hell. If nothing else, director Ronny Yu has brought new eyes and a very energetic style to these characters and it works wonderfully. Better than most of the characters movies, this is really much better than I had ever hoped it might be.

Far from perfect, and nothing the critics will ever like, this is an incredibly fun movie and was one of the best movie experiences I have had all summer. Glee! I am still hoping that someone will have the guts to 1. make a scary Friday the 13th movie (it can be done) and 2. will let these characters die. Its a great movie, and I cannot wait to own it, but man, there is a time to let these guys go, as well as Michael Myers and the rest, and to move forward and at least make new characters. This is a jim-dandy of a movie but its time that more original films were put out and fewer entries to franchises. But, as of right now, having just seen this, I couldnt be happier.


8 out of 10 Jackasses
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